Nonviolence Matters
“When problems are set up on a dualistic model, we are guided along a linear path toward extremes: either this or that.” Dr. Susan Allen, The Tao of Nonviolence
The tools and principles of nonviolence provide the framework for moving away from a dualistic model of interaction and communication, toward one in which context, mutuality, and balance are key considerations for conflict resolution and problem solving.
In other words, by learning the skills of communicating (including listening) nonviolently, people can improve their ability to use conflict constructively to creatively solve problems at all levels of relationships: personal, interpersonal and in community.
The tools and principles of nonviolence provide the framework for moving away from a dualistic model of interaction and communication, toward one in which context, mutuality, and balance are key considerations for conflict resolution and problem solving.
In other words, by learning the skills of communicating (including listening) nonviolently, people can improve their ability to use conflict constructively to creatively solve problems at all levels of relationships: personal, interpersonal and in community.
What exactly does Nonviolence mean?
Nonviolence: The active decision to respond to people and conflicts with respect for the inherent worth and dignity of those involved. Nonviolence is a also a proactive decision to create and sustain healthy balance in relationships and systems of every kind.
- Nonviolence involves refraining from physical, sexual, mental, social, and emotional forms of violence.
- Nonviolence includes the intentional choice to engage in radical self-reflection, to embrace conflict as an opportunity for growth or advancement, and to take positive actions that restore system health where imbalance, injustice or inequity exist.
- Nonviolence is a collective responsibility and manifests through ongoing, comprehensive participation of committed individuals.
- Violence is possible only through disconnection from empathy for the other.
- Violence in thought may be any judgment, stereotype or prejudice that promotes a limited and limiting perspective of another person.
- We recognize that violence does not end at physical, harmful acts but includes words, thoughts, and beliefs that may judge, stereotype, or pre-judge another individual. These can shape how we interact with each other and the environment around us, creating an imbalance in ourselves and in the systems of which we are a part.
What, then, does Nonviolence Look like?
Nonviolent Communication:
- Nonviolent (or peaceful) Communication is grounded in empathy and compassion and focused on understanding the fundamental needs of all parties involved.
- A ‘Culture of Nonviolence’ reflects a social climate in which all group members actively listen to one another and feel free to communicate respectfully and authentically.
- EDNV focuses on intervening proactively in small, doable, practical ways to create sustainable balance and equity in our communities and relationships at all levels.
- EDNV encourages each of us to perceive, practice, and become the positive change we wish to see in the world.
- Personal: The conscious choice to maintain balance in one’s personal life with respect to how time is spent, physical well-being, connection to sources of meaning or sustenance, and personal growth.
- Ex. When faced with overwhelming responsibilities, a father chooses to pause and breathe deeply several times a day to reduce the internal sensation of chaos.
- Ex. A woman takes daily note of one thing she has done that day toward a goal, to be kind or contribute to her family. This practice helps her see her worth, regardless of any outside acknowledgment.
- Interpersonal: Relationships that are mutually respectful, supportive, and include the ability to work through conflict constructively and productively.
- Ex. A friend is willing to hear a hard message with an open mind instead of retreating into offended defensiveness.
- Ex. A supervisor clearly states his appreciation for work well done by his subordinates.
- Ex. A parent learns to listen behind their child’s angry words to better understand that which the child is not yet able to articulate calmly or accurately.
- Community: Communities create balance by engaging and including all members in meaningful ways and seek to reduce or eliminate trends or practices that disenfranchise some segments of the population.
- Ex. A resident begins a local neighborhood revitalization project by hosting a block party and inviting neighbors to discuss neighborhood concerns.
- Ex. Local youth musicians organize themselves into a traveling group to perform for local nursing home residents.
- Ex. Frustrated by political divisions along party lines, community members organize facilitated discussion forums to improve communication and mutual understanding on tough issues.